Thinking about Thinking about Writing

Workshop, workshop, workshop...It's been almost two weeks since my piece was critiqued, so I had to look back at Elmaz's e-mail to remind myself of the particulars of who said what, but something I know for a fact, without having to refer to any messages to jog my memory, is that I left class that night feeling victorious, and extremely relieved to know that I've FINALLY found a direction to take this piece, and it's working! That hurdle has been jumped over and is way behind me now - YAY!!! I also walked out of that critique feeling truly, incredibly, amazingly, grateful.

Being a Creative Writing major I have, naturally, taken many writing workshops at Mills, and I know that there are times when I take for granted just how amazing these classes are. But as my piece was being critiqued, I sat there thinking: I am so blessed that ten other seniors who are all just as crazy stressed about their theses as I am, four incredible graduate students who are probably more stressed about their theses than I am, and the most amazing teacher, mentor, role model, and cheerleader I could ever have asked for, have taken time out of their hectic schedules to read my work and have invested time and energy in thinking of ways to help me make it better. To be surrounded by such a genuinely supportive and caring group of colleagues each week is an incredible gift, and my critique made me stop and remember what a rare privilege it is to have that level of supportive collaboration in one's writing. So I have to say to each of you ladies right now: Thank You!!!

OK... What else did I feel after my critique? I know I was slightly overwhelmed; I always feel overwhelmed after my pieces get critiqued, but fortunately, once I'm done with my initial freak-out, that overwhelmedness usually takes the form of a challenge: after a critique, I've been given all the tools I need to go forth and conquer. I got extremely frustrated when I opened up my chapter afterward and realized a serious logistical flaw that I'm still trying to determine the best way to fix. I think I've decided, though, that the solution to my frustration is to let that part sit for awhile while I skip ahead a little bit so I can keep the story moving. Then I'll come back and link the pieces together. I've also decided that I need to outline. It can be a bare bones, not much to it outline, but as someone who is a very visual learner, I think that if I write down the sequence of events - this happens, then this, then this, and it switches perspectives at points A, B, and C - that seeing it written down will help me to have an easier time of realizing it in a logical way without leaving out important details or making more logistical mistakes. It sounds so basic - you'd think I'd have figured it out a long time ago - but I'll do it now, and I think it will help. I hope it will help... (And I wonder why I've never figured out to apply those concepts to every other paper I've ever written? Hmmm...)

I'm grateful for every single comment that every single person made about my piece, and I'm eager to incorporate as many of those comments as I can. It just makes me nervous thinking about the huge amount action I have left to write and how little time I have to write it! Eek!